Posts Tagged ‘world’


i’m only doing what others do
what you do, what they do
saying what i think, what i believe
speaking my mind
standing up for what i believe in
but because i’m different
i’m not allowed to
have a mind of my own
to think independently
to make up my own mind
to have my own opinions
to use my voice
to say what i think
say what i believe
but for some reason
i must conform
to the elite
and powerful of society
a young female
with Asperger’s should
not talk to them
like this they say
she should be quiet
respectful, go to school
meet someone, settle down
know her place in society
do what they want her to do
not do what she wants to do
so they call me names
but i’m used to that
i ignore the names
ignore the calls for me
to shut up and be quiet
i will use my voice
to say what i think
to stand up for what i believe
to make a difference
to this world
to make it a better place
for everyone
if they don’t like it tough!
it’s their problem not mine
it’s them who need
to look in the mirror
and ask themselves
am i right?
is this the world
i want to live in?
is this the world
i want to leave
for future generations?
well is it?


the world changed when i was born

not in a big way

nothing earth shattering happened

no earthquakes to announce my birth

no volcanos erupting to drown my screams

no hurricanes to blow away my mothers pain

but for my mum, my dad, my family

the world changed when i was born

the world changed when you was born

the world changes when every baby is born


I had a really good run today. Not fast nor a long distance but good just for the sake of running and getting out into the countryside away from civilisation and this world we live in that seemingly never stops and just goes on and on constantly. And this got me thinking about why I run. The inspiration for this line of thought came from a blog I read from Helen Mort who also wrote about why she runs.

There are many, many reasons why different people run and all of them are valid. Some people run to lose weight and get fit, others to race and be seen as a winner and for some it will be the chance to show they are the fastest in a race, over a distance or if they are on Strava over a particular segment.

But for me and I hope for many others it is the sure pleasure running gives you in getting away from the seemingly endless and constant barrage of images, noises, words and much more that bombard so many people every hour of every day. Running for me provides a means of escapism from a world in which the avenues of escape seem to be reducing all the time.

For myself too living with the condition Asperger’s Syndrome a form of autism, running gives me a chance to clear my mind of all the thoughts and ideas that conspire to overwhelm my mind all the time in addition to everything else the world throws at me. Running enables me to start afresh with a clear mind free from clutter.

Today was a very good example of this. I am lucky to live where I do on the doorstep so to speak of the countryside. The opportunities for me to go on a run and get away from it all are endless. The only limit is my imagination for thinking up routes and my body which is getting on a bit now!

So today I set off with a route in mind and for once followed it. along the main road then left down a long road, one half houses the other half fields. At the bottom of this road I turned right down a short road and then right again past a farmhouse and onto some nice single track trail heading down into the woods.

And it’s going down into the woods that my mind begins to clear, thoughts disappear as I concentrate on where I’m going looking out for loose stones, tree stumps and wet mud picking the best path down the trail, running as natural as can be, running for pleasure and no other reason.

For me it’s a very uplifting feeling running along paths made by nature under a canopy of green leaves and brown branches through which a strong sun tries to shine rays of light. This is where I feel at one with the world and with myself. No computers, no television, no radio and certainly no mobile phone. Nothing to distract me from the pleasure of running.

My mind is clear and free not overwhelmed by thoughts of what I should and should not be doing, who I should talk to and who I should not, who I should have in life and who I should not and so much more that occupies my mind in this every increasingly complex world I sometimes struggle with.

The Japanese have a phrase for this Shinrin-yoku which translates as forest bathing. This is the practice of wandering the trails of the forest, taking in the natural beauty and feeling at one with nature. This has a calming and relaxing effect on your whole wellbeing and this is why I run and why I ran today through the woods. To find peace with the world and myself until the next time I am overwhelmed and go for another calming and relaxing run through the woods.


He remembers that first day at school

On a cold September morn as his mother

Let go of his hand for the first time and let it

Drop to the floor, kissed him on the forehead,

Turned around and left him there alone for the

First time in a field of unfamiliar faces, a

Landscape of slow motion figures, revolving

Around him like a L.S. Lowry painting and then

They see him, a gaggle of kids looking for the

Vulnerable, those alone, easy meat to pick on,

Waiting to strike them, destroy them in the blink of an

Eye before anyone notices what is happening

And then they begin their attack, moving slowly,

Encircling their prey like a pack of wild chimps

Ready for the right moment to set about their

Victim, and he is alone in a wall of noise as

Figures past by not seeing him, avoiding him

Not wanting to be there when they tear into him,

And the first punch comes from nowhere and he

Falls to the cold, dark ocean of asphalt, his body

Sinking deep into it before rebounding ready for the

Next kick as faceless objects peer down at him

Laughing, mocking, enjoying seeing him in

Confusion and pain, asking why, why, why,

And the beating begins like a shower of meteor’s

Ripping into the earth from everywhere and

Then it stops as the clock strikes ten and this

Asphalt space is devoid of life,

No more noise, no more movement,

No more beating’s, and he lays on the skin

Of the earth the only sign of humanity in

This violent landscape


lives are lived on slabs of

concrete as grey as the

sky filled with tears on an

autumnal August day

and sticks of life

run around a ball

spinning in space

that never ever

reaches its goal 


Sorry but I haven’t been on here for a while. Been feeling under the weather and out of sorts. Not been feeling very creative so not much writing done. However I have come up with this one. It’s how I view growing up with Asperger’s and how it can feel sometimes.

Growing Up

As children growing up we are all the same
All developing through play, school, family and friends
Sight, hearing, taste, touch, smell
All exciting and new to a child

Socialising and communicating with others
As they explore a whole new world
Excitement uncontained and unabated
And then childhood stops

For some at least
But for others it does not
Their bodies grow old and weary
Yet their minds are still those of children

Thinking like a child
Feeling like a child
Living in an adult body
In an unfamiliar world

That doesn’t understand

Struggling to cope with everyday tasks
Day after day after day
Welcome to the world of autism
Children living in adult bodies

Struggling to live in an adult world
A world they don’t understand
Struggling with life everyday
But always with a smile on their face