Posts Tagged ‘remembering’


I’m at school, it’s my first time at school. It’s someone’s birthday. They’re having a party, I’ve been invited. I’m enjoying the party and the other children. I’m having fun eating cake, drinking cola, playing games. I’ll never know them or see them again.


Our cat Mitzy is outside, sat on the doorstep minding her own business, doing nothing to anyone. Then she is dead, shot with an air rifle by the young lad across the street. He never said why he shot her and never said sorry. This is my first experience of death and how brutal and evil some people can be.


I’m at a house, it might be mine, it might not. We have a visitor a woman. My mum and her are talking, I’m playing with my toys while they talk. I go near the woman’s feet, they bare, naked. This is my first memory of bare skin. I’m nervous, apprehensive about approaching her feet, touching her bare skin. Something inside me tells me to stop, to not touch, to not stare, to go back to playing with my toys. Bare skin is bad and should not be touched.


My next memories are hazy, hazier than the first memory. I’m in a house, a big house, big to me, surrounded by furniture and people and animals. My mum, dad, sister, George the mynah bird, a cat, our dog Tina. My memory is blurred as if I’m opening my eyes after a good nights sleep. There is colour emerging from the grey, people are talking, there is life forming here, mine, my parents, my sisters, the animals around us, creating life, creating memories.


i remember my lego bricks
boxes and boxes of them
different shapes, sizes and colours
some were round
others had wheels
i built everything /span>
from houses to skyscrapers
cars to concorde
tanks to battleships
i even built a planet
entirely from lego bricks
the only thing i did not
build was a wall


you first came to my house
ran to the cellar, a blur
disappeared into the darkness
made it your home for weeks
one day i saw you
for the first time ever
as you walked out the door
left, forever i thought…
days later you came back
i was the chosen one
who would be looking after you
climbing trees with ease
faster than a shooting star
playing in sun
sleeping in snow
chasing mice for fun
birds a present for me
fights with Jodie
who will sleep on my knee
you enjoyed life
as queen of the street
growing older you
slow down preferring
cuddles to fights
getting softer with age
i believed you would
live forever
but the day came
when your body
could take no more
as you wrapped your paw
around the tip
of my finger
purred one last time
said goodbye daddy
i knew it was your time
to go to Rainbow Bridge
to play with Jodie
and the other
cats and dogs
just the way
you did when you
was young
furever
 


water flows down
the neck of the moors
a silken scarf
of life giving blood
a life captured
in one perfect
moment as light
meets dark reflecting
back a portrait
of a person
been and gone
a star burning
brightly, intensely, before
fading, extinguishing itself
through a life
over indulged, lived
half hearted, such
promise never fulfilled
a life to be
half remembered
half forgotten
 


looking over the valley
to the big school
far away on the hill
where dreams will come true
i will be so big, so mature
i will know everything
and be anything i want to be…
i wish i could dust
off the years of adulthood
lose my life experience
forget all the joy and pain
forgive so many
say sorry to many more
empty my mind of knowledge
and enjoy that one
moment of childhood innocence
forever
 


a mind stained
by memories of the past
of families, friendships, relationships
arguments, breakups, reconciliations
friends here and now, been and gone
some here forever
others never seen again
lovers we have had
some so close you become one
others remain untouched
except in your mind
places you have been
sunsets and sunrises seen
through all four seasons
before merging into one
hills you climbed forever, never ending
bottomless valleys you never reached
books you have read
a million different words in your head
and you only remember one
films seen through aging eyes
of places and people
you will never know but you think you do
waking up in the morning listening to birds
staring at the ceiling all night
waiting for sleep to take over
landscapes been and gone
homes and factories built and demolished
to make way for a new future
running over moors in the dark
getting drunk in the park
the stain of memories
that last forever
until you become
a stain in the earth
and slowly, quietly
begin to fade away…


I said goodbye to this tall, slender, memory

From my past that had from nowhere

Come back into my life, rekindling teenage desires

Unexpected but welcome, a distraction from daily life

 

And now this vessel of pure white skin, topped with

Fair, blonde hair, cascading down towards mother earth

Covering pure, delicate bone. So light yet so strong

Stood before me, so close, I could smell her lipstick

On my tongue as we stood burning each others image

 

Into the deepness of our memories, ready to be

Recalled when we awoke in the early hours of a

Summers morning, the sun peering over the horizon

Getting ready to wake up unsuspecting men and women.

 

Her fingers left mine, hanging nowhere, just there

As we said goodbye forever, knowing this would be the

Last time we saw each other, touched each other, tasted each other…

 

I turned and touched a single, lonely bead of sweat

Resting on the pillow before it melted into soft fabric

Gone forever, never coming back

The smell of lavender hanging in the air

Reminding me of the night before…

 

I gather the bead of sweat, so soft, so light, so clear

On the tip of my forefinger, look at it taking in

The colours of the world bouncing away in all directions

Before I place it gently on the tip of my tongue

And take a last taste of you, my last memory of you

As I say goodbye to you, forever