Posts Tagged ‘change’


autumn came to stay
it brought shorter days
brown, curled up edges
on the corners of wallpaper
ceilings leaking, floors
wet and slippy with mud
fruit tossed unceremoniously
over floors, fresh and decaying together
the lights turned on and off
with an unpredictable spontaneity
cats and dogs sought shelter
in the corners of the house
away from droughts and drips
autumn brought feelings of
warmth and comfort too
life slowed down to a gentle
more manageable pace
despite the drips, the droughts, the mud,
the browning, the unpredictability,
despite everything that might seem
off putting about autumn
it was good to welcome
autumn back into my life
like an old friend
with all their faults and foibles
but all the better for them
not despite them
welcome back
my old friend


Getting to the top grade at school was a big achievement for me. Maths and English tests and I was selected above everybody else, just one person, me. However I soon began to struggle and was overwhelmed by the harder lessons and tougher expectations of me academically. In the grade below I was near the top of the classes and was effectively cruising at school. I coped with the lessons and homework and had plenty of time to play with my friends. School was not a worry for me. Moving to the top grade was a very different matter for me. There was more homework, tougher questions, algebra was a new concept for me, how could you do maths with letters? I’m still confused by algebra but I can add up, subtract, divide and multiply, what more do you need for life! Moving home didn’t help either. Everything happened at once, moving home, moving up a grade at school and looking back I couldn’t cope. It was all too much for me I was overwhelmed and collapsed under the weight of everything that was going on and retreated into my shell, unable to talk to anyone about how I felt because I didn’t understand what was going on and I couldn’t even begin to put into words how I felt. I felt lost in the world and took to my bed as the only place I felt comfortable and safe in the world. Maybe if I hadn’t moved away from everything I knew I would have been fine in the top grade. Maybe if I hadn’t moved up to the top grade I would have coped better with the move. Life is full of if’s and but’s and so many unanswered questions and we all have them and all we can do is think about what might have been and move on as best we can.


It’s the day when dreams come true. My first day at big school, Tong Comprehensive. I remember looking at Tong when I was at Holmefield First and dreaming of what it would be like to go there, be there, feel so grown up, feel like an adult. And now that day has come, I’m here. I stand in the playground surrounded by children and teachers. Everybody seems to know what they’re doing. Except me. I am in the eye of a storm. I don’t know what to do or where to go. I don’t feel grown up, I don’t feel like an adult. I feel adrift in space, floating like a piece of driftwood in the ocean. Is this what it’s like to grow up and be an adult? Lost and not knowing what you’re doing or where you’re going or what you want? If it is take me back to that moment when I looked over at Tong and dreamed of going there. I knew where I was that day, I knew where I was going, I knew what I wanted. Take me back to that moment when life was to be enjoyed and not now when life is a continuous series of never ending storms taking me everywhere but where I want to be.


I rewilded my voice

Took it back to my life as a baby

Saying gaga and dada

Leading me to point and gaze

In awe and wonder

At so much in the world

I was taking for granted

As an adult


This poem was inspired by a story of a glacier sliding down a mountainside in the Alps due to global warming.

i’ve been here a thousand years
high up in the cold, clear air
of the mountains, watching life
come and go around me

now i am slowly disappearing, dying
it began as a trickle of water
flowing unnoticed down the rock
towards the valley below

a trickle turned into a cascade of
crystal clear water making birds,
mammals and people look up to see
this new waterfall creating its path

now no-one comes to see
i am so much smaller than i was
losing size and shape as i
slide down the mountain

i am losing my home
sliding into the
abyss of oblivion
my life is ebbing away

there is nothing i can do
to stop this, i am powerless
but you are not
you have the power to change

use it to stop
more deaths like mine
to maintain the fragile
balance earth needs to survive

use it to prevent
your own demise
or your death will be
the last one you see

changing seasons

Posted: September 24, 2019 in poetry, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

trees losing leaves
animals gathering food
vegetation dying
weather getting colder
colours transforming
rivers flowing faster
sun getting lower
shorter days
longer nights
life goes to sleep
preparing for the
changing of the seasons

autumn running

Posted: September 14, 2019 in poetry, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

last week it was warm and dry
no wind, no rain, no mud
i ran free with ease
leaping over rocks
flying down embankments
soaring over hills
splashing through streams

in a blink summer has gone
and autumn is here
today the air is cooler
a lighter shade of blue
puddles of mud appear
the wind is coming back
together with cold, crisp air

soon blues will be replaced with greys
clear skies with overwhelming darkness
dry, hard trails with
thick layers of mud
puddles will litter the paths
as leaves dance in the wind
and the autumnal opera begins


heather turns brown
leaves flutter into pools of
mud, created by tears of
despair, carried by cavernous
clouds, fleeing across
skies of doom

today as i sit
watching life migrate by
a season going comes
out to play one
last time, one last
day as life returns

nooks and crannies
warmed for one last
time, insects play
the last scene of
their lives before a
sun sets one last time


we all wore the same clothes
had the same hairstyles
ate the same food
said the same things
at the same time
no one was different
our identity was collective
personalities identical
if one was punished
we was all punished
then the police came
rescued us all from
our insular world
and left us in a
world we didn’t know
we had to learn
to be ourselves
develop our own
personalities and identities
learn to be individuals
we had to learn
what it meant to be human
it was hard work
but we did it
created new lives
became new people, the people
we should have been
from the beginning


i see life in black and white

there is no grey for me

where the black and white lies

can change day to day

black becomes white

white becomes black

depending on my interactions with others

different situations, new experiences

to an outsider if can appear

to be shades of grey

but inside, for me

it is black and white