Archive for June, 2014


Just been told I have a unique style of poetry. Some people have said I have a talent as well. To be honest I have no idea! All I know is that I’m enjoying my poetry journey and if I have a unique talent for poetry that makes it even better. I’m happy if I’m making others happy and that is the most unique talent anyone can have………………


Resources & Links Directory | Erik Estabrook | Poet.


He sits still staring into a space only he can see where

Walls, windows, doors and roofs all merge into one

Become as one, mingling together turning

Into a myriad of shapes and colours mixed forever

Into a cornucopia of shades of grey

A dream like state ensues where

Time flows by unnoticed

Minutes, hours a day goes by and

The pool of life has stopped

Time stands

Still

A bird flies by and no one blinks as it

Blends into a stone wall that

Bends like never before

Disappearing from sight

And still he stares

And the dream turns into reality

In his mind at least…………..


Many people judge someone who has depression on the face they see in public. They do not judge them on the face that lives in private. The private face is the true face of depression. The public face is a mask put on for show. Think about what may be hidden behind the mask and do not judge someone on what you see. You never know what that face may be hiding……………..


Last night was another auspicious moment in my poetry experience. I lost my poetry reading virginity! I was very, very nervous as you can imagine, but the evening was made far more relaxing by being held in a small restaurant called the Kava based in Todmorden, West Yorkshire. I had never been to the Kava before but it is a lovely little vegetarian restaurant with a very pleasant and convivial atmosphere, helped by the intimate surroundings.

I went there with two friends, Nuala Robinson and Gaia Holmes. Both Nuala and myself attend a workshop run by Gaia called ‘Igniting the Spark’. The workshop is held every week although we are taking a break for the summer. The workshop is a very friendly environment and achieves what it sets out to do. It has certainly ignited my spark and I am enjoying writing poetry and having my creative side challenged every week by the various activities Gaia sets us. It is the other writers who go to the workshop who also inspire me to write better poetry and without them I would not have come so far in such a short space of time.

In the Kava was another friend who I knew and this helped to settle my nerves knowing that there were people there who had come to support me and the other poets based purely on our performance on the night and nothing else. Gaia was the guest poet and performed several of her amazing poems to a spell bound audience. All of Gaia’s poetry was very well received and she had well deserved rapturous applause at the end of her readings. The compare Anthony then read a poem and after two other poets had performed some outstanding poetry it was my turn to perform.

I got up and very nervously began to read my first poem ‘She Dreams’. All of a sudden my first night nerves had disappeared and I just concentrated on reading my poetry to the best of what I consider to be my limited ability. My next reading was ‘My Eyes’ which is a very personal poem about how I see not being able to read and understand non-verbal communication because of my Asperger’s Syndrome and how I imagine it is for someone else. The last reading was ‘Emily Bronte’s Pen’ which is my interpretation of what it must have been like to be the pen with which Emily Bronte wrote ‘Wuthering Heights’, Every since discovering the Bronte’s and Haworth last year they have held a special place in my heart and every time I visit Haworth Moor or the Bronte Parsonage I feel a tingle down my spine at the thought of walking in the footsteps of literary geniuses who changed the literary world forever with there outstanding poems and novels which have stood the test of time and always will do. At the end of my reading everybody applauded loudly and vigorously, especially my friend Simon who should be a professional applauder! The relief from finishing my very first poetry reading and losing my virginity was immense. All I wanted to do was find a bed and lie down for a very long time! But being 20 miles from home and with other poets still to read I couldn’t lie down anywhere. 

The rest of the poets were equally impressive and I realised how much I have to learn about poetry and I took inspiration from the other poets and their readings. After the event had finished everybody congratulated me on losing my poetry reading virginity and said I was a natural. To hear this gave me a boost to my confidence and has inspired me to carry on writing and reading poetry. Having Asperger’s and suffered from bullying has severely dented my confidence, but I am slowly getting it back through my new found passion.

I cannot thank Gaia Holmes enough for the lovely words she said to me at the end of the night, nor for the owners of the Kava Café who let us have the venue and all of the other poets and people who made it a magical evening for everybody. I got some ideas for a theme for my poetry and I cannot wait to read some poetry again whether it is one of my poor attempts or poetry by one of the greats.  


As I continue on my journey in this life I am slowly beginning to realise that the best way to express myself is through the written word and the wonderful language we have at our disposal day after day after day. Finally after fearing that I would never be able to fully express myself through any form of communication, the rediscovery of the written word has set me free once again. My poems may not be the best or win any prizes, but to me they are an expression of how I feel in that very instance, that very snap shot of the time I have on this planet. Each and every day I am seeing new sights, hearing new sounds, smelling new odours, everything is now something to be discovered instead of passing it by as if it doesn’t exist. A stone is no longer a stone. A stone has meaning and depth. Where did it come from? Where has it been? Where is it going? What has it seen? It is no longer a stone in the road, but now has life and meaning. My mind is expanding, my vocabulary is expanding, my whole world is expanding. Some might say that it is too late to discover all this but I say that the only time it is too late to discover anything is when we have left this world and gone to the next one.

It is never too late to rediscover life, to give something or someone a new meaning and to rediscover the person within you.

Andrew Smith 20th June 2014

 

STARE

Posted: June 19, 2014 in Poems, Thoughts, Uncategorized
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As he sits at the window

Staring into a space only he can see

A space made by him in his dreamlike state

Walls, windows, doors, roads all merge and mingle

Into a cornucopia of dull, gloomy brown and white shapes

Everything becomes one

All as one

All together

In a patchwork quilt of life passing by

On a mattress of earth  

For all to see

Use

Abuse

Images and words flash by his eyes

From reality to dreams

By the power of a mind

That stares

Observes

And turns reality into dreams

Dreams into meaning

Meaning into life

Life into reality


Here I sit, waiting in darkness

For a hand to take me in their fingers again

To move me from this place of rest

And open the lid on my wooden bedroom

Picking me up as gently as a new born baby

Moving me towards the light of the sun

My tip shining brightly, glistening in the morning sun

All of me quivering in expectation

Of being pressed, deep into the white paper

And my dark, oozing, indelible liquid

Is ready to make its mark on the world

Ready to do the bidding of whoever holds me

Ready to be the one thing in the world

That transforms thoughts in a vivid mind

That allows them to cascade and flow

From deep inside a universe of letters

To an outside world anticipating every word

As they soak up the imagination of a beautiful mind

And words become images in their minds eye

Transformed from a shape on a piece of paper

By the imagination of the reader

To an image that will last a life time

Imprinted in the memory  

Ready to be retrieved and enjoyed forever

Ode to Mode

Posted: June 10, 2014 in Poems, Thoughts, Uncategorized
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An elephant walks down the road

And spies a toad

Within the road

Carrying a load

To his abode

In order to enhance his mode

With a magical commode

Which will help him decode

And lighten his load

To enliven the toad

As the elephant walks down the road

RIP Rik Mayall

Posted: June 9, 2014 in Uncategorized

RIP Rik Mayall